||[Nov. 22nd, 2004|06:46 pm]
|||||elliot, old but new to me||]|
i am trying to find purpose. i have never felt so uncertain. my parents told me my entire life be whatever you want to be, just be happy. suddenly its become-be whatever you want to be, just be happy, and make sure you are applying to med school. i want to paint and i want to travel and i want to be creative, hell, i wouldnt mind doing makeup for a while longer. i hate 4-year planners and i hate even more that i didnt follow one. sorry to the maybe 2 people reading, i hate talking about this, i just need to get it out. i have cold hands and a cold nose. i know i sound spoiled. i wish things were different. i feel trapped.
i keep having these dreams, like 3 nights in a row, maybe more that i cant remember, i would really like these dreams to stop. if anyone knows how to make bad dreams go away please let me know. i need an anja revolution.