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(no subject) [Feb. 1st, 2005|07:02 pm]
[killa status |sicksick]
[killa beat |bb]

dear journal,
i didnt think i would write again. i thought maybe things were settled, or hopeless. but things are changing again, so i thought i would share.
for the first time ever i feel like i am really standing up for myself, i think this is hope for maybe one day deciding what i want and what makes me happy. this is good.
for the first time i had to say goodbye to a very good friend. not goodbye that ends a friendship, but a goodbye that kind of ends an era. now i think ill just have to go to vegas for the baby.
for the first time i feel for a person in a way i never thought i could or would or wanted to right now. but i do. and i like it. here's to valentines day bitches.

so with all that said, i too miss jack in the box teriyaki bowls
happy black history month negros
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Don't talk politics. that just sucks [Dec. 8th, 2004|07:07 pm]
today i had 28 minutes of heaven.
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(no subject) [Nov. 26th, 2004|10:55 pm]


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(no subject) [Nov. 25th, 2004|01:05 pm]
i am most thankful for band boys
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(no subject) [Nov. 25th, 2004|12:39 pm]
I am thankful that when nadia just pushed me i did not roll down the stairs. dying on thanksgiving would suck.
I am thankful that i can remember a year ago today like it was yesterday.
I am thankful that i am an awesome pro-skater.
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(no subject) [Nov. 22nd, 2004|06:46 pm]
[killa status |sleepysleepy]
[killa beat |elliot, old but new to me]

i am trying to find purpose. i have never felt so uncertain. my parents told me my entire life  be whatever you want to be, just be happy. suddenly its become-be whatever you want to be, just be happy, and make sure you are applying to med school. i want to paint and i want to travel and i want to be creative, hell, i wouldnt mind doing makeup for a while longer. i hate 4-year planners and i hate even more that i didnt follow one. sorry to the maybe 2 people reading, i hate talking about this, i just need to get it out. i have cold hands and a cold nose. i know i sound spoiled. i wish things were different. i feel trapped.

i keep having these dreams, like 3 nights in a row, maybe more that i cant remember, i would really like these dreams to stop. if anyone knows how to make bad dreams go away please let me know. i need an anja revolution.

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(no subject) [Nov. 17th, 2004|08:16 pm]
[killa status |fullfull]
[killa beat |witness : the one am radio]

i was really close tonight, pretty damn close. that doesnt mean much. this tequidilia picadilia needs to get herself together.

'ive seen all good people turn their heads this way, so satisfied, im on my way'
'its time its time use me any time you want dont surround yourself with yourself move on back to squares news
is captured for the queen to use'
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if i eat a sausage am i still a vegetarian? [Nov. 15th, 2004|05:49 pm]
[killa status |sorelol]

nadia: "just stick it in"
"it's blowing up in me"
me: "stop shaking it"
nadia: "dont move it"
"it's slipping"
"you're soft"

...is that it??
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will take off shirts for band trailers passing [Nov. 13th, 2004|06:33 pm]
[killa status |contemplativecontemplative]
[killa beat |Lynyrd Skynyrd simple man]

Our road trip was fucking amazing. Nad packed the snacks and the tunes. I supplied the gas, or if you know her at all, nadia might have brought a little more. Highlight of the trip, 45 minutes in traffic alongside an equal vision band trailer. how i avoided an accident is a miracle from the heavens.
Nadia's words of wisdom, "That's like scooping it up and eating it!!"
trust me, if you knew what she was referencing its funny as hell, and if you saw her acting it out you woulda jizzed your pants.
tonight- we part ways, a rare occasion, i will get trashed with a gay man who owns nicer eyebrows than me, nadia will get some ummm ya.
dont mind me, ive been in a weird mood for the last month and a half. since i broke up with yames, i dont think ive been the same.
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not so much what you think [Nov. 8th, 2004|04:19 pm]

all i want for chirstmas is one sharp razor,

i want to free myself of this eurotrash state of existance,

sacrifice everything for yellowstone.   and i'd like to be able to change my shirt.

killing me softly

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